Recently I've been on a few first dates. They are the single biggest waste of time in my life other than Boston Legal of late. Appropriate topics of conversation include:
- The weather
- What your native community is like
- The difference between Australia and "insert nationality here"
- The difference between Western countries & Israel
- Any mainstream hobbies you practice
- The weather
Taboo topics include:
- Politics
- Religion
- Marriage
- Family dysfunction
- Person quirks/idiosyncrasies
- Sex
- Anything which may actually help you determine whether or not you would like to go on a second date with this person let alone spend the rest of your life with them.
Boys of Jerusalem: Yes, I agree it is freaking hot. No, it's not possible to live in this heat. Yes, I feel very sorry for you that you don't have air conditioning. Wow, isn't it fascinating that your community had x number of Jewish day schools. Yeah, isn't it hilarious that I say 'footpath' instead of 'sidewalk'. Just. Freaking. Hilarious. You play basketball? Wow. Yeah, it is weird that milk comes in plastic bags here. And yes, I'm still aware that its very hot in Jerusalem but baruch hashem we don't live in Tel Aviv with the humidity and the sinners.
Young men of the holy city take note: I could have flowing conversation with a tree. Just because I'm smiling and nodding does not mean that I'm actually listening to what you have to say. Because you are saying exactly what the young man before you said - That is: nothing of any importance.
I am hoping that second dates will turn out to be more useful. By that I mean that I intend to drop the 'oh did I mention that I'm a left-wing-frum-feminist-tree-hugging-heretical-hippy' bombshell.
Wish me luck.
2 comments:
forget about dates, talk to me about the election. ok ok, i like the dating talk too. good luck with the bombshell.
Does this mean that at least, in some way, I did better than all the other boys?
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