Secret Women's Business

So this blog post isn't a chabad/kiruv 'the beauty of family purity' manifesto but it is going to be a discussion of a friend of mine's experiences at the mikvah. It just so happens that her experiences were largely positive.

For those who are unfamiliar with the subject you can check this out.

Anyway, so my friend lives in Jerusalem and being an orthodox woman she keeps the laws of family purity. The mikvah she attends is in the eclectic neighbourhood of Nachlaot. The mix of demographics in the suburb is reflected in the mikvah attendees. There are hassidic women with their heads shaved. There are hippies with dreadlocks and no shoes. There are old sephardi women. There are even women you wouldn't expect, ones with tattoos and piercings.

The mikvah itself is beautiful. It's clean and modern. Very much like a spa. It's managed to maintain some of the old Jerusalem architecture along with the renovation to allow for lots of frosted glass and good heating. Not to mention fluffy towels. There's even a hair/make-up spot with blow driers and cosmetics for prettifying post-mikvah.

The balaniot (the mikvah attendants) are really polite and considerate. There is no checking your nails or looking for bits of unbuffed skin on your feet. They simply ask if you've prepared according to your minhagim (traditions) and then get you to step into the mikvah. Obviously they hold the towel up so they don't really look at you during this.

The balanit could tell that my friend was still new at this and a bit nervous, so she told her to take a few deep breaths and to calm herself before saying the bracha and taking the dips. After each dip the balanit declared in a very calm and soothing voice "kasher." As my friend walked up the stairs the balanit congratulated her on doing a great and important mitzvah and then shook her hand. Kinda hilarious given that she was naked at the time.

Anyways what she claims is that the most positive experience out of the mikvah outings is the sense of camaraderie between the women there. In the waiting room you have women of all types chatting about the towels or about kids or about the chaggim or about the cottage cheese protests or the katzav verdict. In a world where there aren't always options for women of different creeds to meet, the mikvah is a safe place.

Obviously this is just one person's opinion and experience. But I think it's one that people should know about. Because even if you think that family purity is misogynistic there's always two sides to every coin and the cultural narrative is one that we create. So why not create a positive one?

With that - have a great week folks.

The Attraction of Lesbians

So I was checking my blog stats the other day n discovered a really interesting thing. The most popular post of mine is my Girl Crushing one. Look, I'll admit it's relatively interesting but more interesting than Frenchies? Or the Perfect Man?

It doesn't take a Gender and Sexuality major to work out what's going on here. People are googling Jewish Lesbians and are getting directed to my blog. Must be very disappointing for them. nevertheless I'm going to exploit this discovery to elicit more followers via google. Hence the Lesbians in my title. Who know's maybe they'll give up their search for girl on girl action and chose to read about modern orthodoxy and mormons instead? Likely I say. Very Likely.

In other news on Tuesday night I went to the messibat siyum for my beit midrash for massechet chagiga. Fun times. I gave my shiur on korbanot in the future in the holy language (no, not yiddish). It went well I'd say, particularly since none of the scary PhDs or Rabbis came, only my comrades who are not too intimidating. Other than the event was very impressive. We saw a short film starring one of the rabbis about the relationship between Elisha ben Abuya and R'Meir. It's a terrible film - but adorable nonetheless. We saw somebody do an interpretive dance of the massechet. I kid you not. It would have been more impressive had his fly not been open. Awkies. One of the students is a composer and she composed an incredible classic music piece to the massechet. It was very possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever heard - the arguments and questions and stories of the gemara being played out on a piano. All in all - it was wonderful and happy and fun.

Yesterday was Yom Yerushalayim. I went to Tel Aviv. Now you may think this was a political statement and it was a little bit. But mainly I simply don't have Sundays and Fridays are spent cooking n cleaning so when I had a real day off I didn't want to spend it in Jlem. I wanted the beach. And so the beach I got. We went to the beach by Yafo and then to the old train stationfor a wander. Only to discover that Yom Yerushalayim is the day that arsim and frechot get married. It was teeming with overweight, drag queen make-uped, fake tanned, glittery dressed brides having their photos taken. It was both entertaining and nauseating. Then it was off to Dizingoff for the best shwarma in the land. It's right below the fountain. They only bake the laffa once you order and the meat (yes - I ate meat, but it was worth it) is not from a stick, instead its grilled in front of you once you order. And it's only 25 shek (though this time last year it was only 22 shek). Also the shwarma man is nice n friendly n not all sleazy/rude. Basically it's strongly recommended.

This shabz I'm having past sherut girls over and we're having a picnic in the park with my university friends. Yayness!

With that, sabbatical salutations O loyal followers.

What War Zone?

Today was my first J'lem terrorist attack (or piguah) for the year. I've been in Israel for bombings before and I've been in Israel for wars before. But this is the first one of this year and hence it warrants a blog post.

I was in a class on solutions to the agunah crisis (divorce issues) when a girl announced that there's been a piguah on a bus by binyanei ha'uma. The lecturer asked how many injured/hurt. She answered that no fatalities yet but over 20 people hurt. We had a moment where we all looked at each other and didn't know what to do. The lecturer then continued teaching the class while we all subtly started texting our loved ones checking they are alright. Those of us who have internet in lecture halls went online to check the news.

That was it. We basically went straight back on with our lives.

To be honest, every other time I've been in Israel it's pretty much been the same. Normal life goes on.

So how do I feel?

Well it was very close to my house. Not that I was at home but still. Also it was a pretty big reminder that I'm not living in the West but instead smack bang in the middle east.

Intellectually and emotionally it's hard for me as a westerner to understand why people would do these things. Particularly I find it hard in relation to Gaza where there is the option for autonomy and independent statehood in pre-67 borders but the rockets keep falling and not just on marginal towns like Sderot (not that it's ok there either) but also on major cities like Be'er Sheva. It's hard for me when I consider the London bombings and how middle-class people with tertiary degrees could execute such attacks. As somebody who likes to put it all down economic theory and Marx sometimes its hard to cope with totally foreign and strong ideologies. Particularly when we come from the west which is today largely an ideology free zone.

On the other hand I don't find it that hard to comprehend since, to be honest, I don't really expect much more from humanity. I mean for the most part the whole world has spent all of history in a constant state of war. Indeed most of Africa is still like that. I suppose it's all well and good that Europe and the West has finally gotten its act together but it took a couple of super giant big wars/genocides for them to learn. More then that, even in our law and order filled countries there is still murder and family violence and street violence.

I came to a realization when I was 16 that human beings suck.

So I suppose that today is no different than any other day. Except that today the suckiness was closer to home.

Announcements

Men of Jerusalem I have a few important announcements for you.

1) If you are married you must wear a wedding ring. If you do not - you are a tease. Particularly if you are wearing a kippa. Seriously, if you led people in other areas into believing that you are, say a doctor or rich, you would be sued and people may die, the same should apply (minus the people dying part) if you are married but do not indicate that in any way. How else am I meant to know who to smile at or invite to my study group (if ya know what I mean ;p)

2) Do not pause mid-conversation with me to check out a girls tits and then say 'G-d, that was awesome.' I feel like this one is pretty self-explanatory. Don't be gross.

3) If you are a native English speaker and I'm speaking to you in English and I know you speak English because we are discussing your childhood in America, speak to me in English. Seriously, don't pretend that you've forgotten our mother language, because you live in Katamon and learnt at a Chutznik yeshiva, we both know you still speak English. You're not fooling anyone, except maybe yourself. Fool.

4) Man-bags are not an appropriate accessory. You have pockets, use them! You should not need anything more than phone-keys-wallet and therefore should not need a bag. But if you must, it may be a stachel, but a small murse is not ironic, it's just lame.

There you have it folks - two posts in one day - am I a good blogger or what?

The Hebrew University of Jerusalem

I sincerely apologise for the more than week long absence. To make it up to you I'll fin you in on my life.

I have now started studying Law at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. I've already told y'all about my subjects and how ridiculously excited I was to start so I wont go into all that again.

But I will tell you about the exchange program, about my classes and peers and about being a little bit older now.

There are 8 of us in the exchange program. 4 Danes, 3 Australians and one Spaniard (Catalan). Only the Australians are Jewish and speak Hebrew. Only I am taking half my courses in Hebrew. Additionally, I'm the only one staying for a year, which means that next semester I will be the only exchange student in the entire faculty. The Europeans are struggling very much for the following reasons - housing here is very expensive, everything is disorganized, nobody is patient or polite and they can't communicate with anybody b/c they don't speak Hebrew. If asked I'd say they are probably not having a great time just yet. Which is a shame but well... welcome to the middle east.

Regarding myself, well university is absurdly hectic. I'm taking 6 subjects, three in Hebrew and three in English. Additionally I got a position on the university kollel, which means I get paid to learn Torah but it also means that some days I'm at university for more than 13 hours. I also volunteered to teach a bit of Torah which means additional hours at university. In total I'm at university for 50 hours a week. Compared to the maybe 10 hours a week I had at university in Australia.

However, I mean like, that's what I'm here to do. Go to university. In oz I was distracted by my many extracurricular activities and here I have the opportunity to be a real student and to participate in university fully. So I'll see how it goes.

I have to say that it is absurdly pleasant to be attending a university full of Jews and that there are enough kippa wearing individuals that I no longer count how many are in my lecture theater. Then again - I suppose that's not very different to my uni in Oz.

I also had my birthday over the weekend. Which means that I am now 22. The age at which my mother entered her marriage. But then again she always says that she was too young, so I don't really feel the pressure, particularly given my previous post on my ambivalence to procreation.

I had friends over for shabbat dinner for my birthday - it was generally wonderful and I had a couple of my friends sleep over so it was a 25 hour celebration of my birth. It brought me much joy.

Finally, I have another date later this week with another boy. This one is another american (exhale of exasperation) studies engineering at Tel Aviv and teaches gemara at Machon Meir. The US thing and the Machon Meir thing don't bide well, but he is good looking so worst comes to worst I'll just tune out, smile and nod and appreciate his bone structure and complexion.

With that, I hope you've all forgiven me for my tardy postage,

Cheers, Miss.B

Dealbreakers

So last night I went on a date with a boy. He was a friend of a friend and apaz we were meant to be great together. Accordingly, after some fb chattage we arranged to go out for dinner.

It was an epic fail.

But before we get there, I'll let you know the good things about him.

1. He was dressed very well. Tie, shirt, vest, old man hat, the whole eccentric youth thing going on. This is a rare trait in Israel and a severely under-valued one.

2. He's a feminist. His favorite t-shirt says 'real men marry rabbis' and was suitably crushed when I told him that had I not been an orthodox girl I defs would have gone for smicha.

3. He's super smart and into politics, Judaism and philosophy. Tick, Tick, Tick.

So why was the date an epic fail?

He just possessed too many dealbreakers.

Specifically two things

1. He's super ridiculously right-wing both re:Israeli politics and general politics. Like, he makes Tony Abbott look like a pot smoking tree hugging lesbian. Ew Tony Abbott.

2. He wants to live in Israel his whole life but he won't make Aliya because he doesn't want to go to the army. Why not? This is a direct quote: "I'm a coward." Oh and he doesn't trust the army ever since Gush Katif. Loh Sababa. WTF! You can't want all the Arabs to die and be expelled from their homes but not be willing to put on khaki and do it yourself. You can't live here your whole life in safety and security without doing anything to protect yourself or your family.

Which brings me to a more fun game of 'sababa v'hakol' which mean's everything is ok with this person (ie: they could be the love of your life) except for this one thing. Could you deal with this one thing?

So here are things I could deal with if the guy was sababa v'hakol except for this one thing.

• He only wears orange velvet
• He has a girls name like Nancy or Tracy
• He has a theme song that he sings to himself while alone
• He refers to himself in the third person
• His favorite food is oxtail.

See - I'm open minded. I'm not picky.

Except for these small tiny things.

• Must be Jewish
• Must be orthodox
• Must have gone to yeshiva/will go to yeshiva
• Must be into flexible halacha/politics/film/music
• Must be taller than me (but seriously I'm 5 ft)
• Must be smart
• Must be funny
• Must be willing to live in Israel
• Must be not be too right-wing
• Must realise that women are people too
• Must not have tiny hands/feet/ears
• Must not have a high pitched voice
• Must not have a super annoying laugh

Basically I would like a hilarious individual who has tchelet tzitit coming out of his super skinny jeans while riding his bike through the streets of j'lem listening to alternating podcasts from Vampire Weekend and Yeshayahu Leibowitz.

At the risk of sounding like Carrie Bradshaw - Is that too much to ask?

Chalutziut

A friend of mine once complained to me that she feels like she was born in the wrong era. She wished that she was born 100 years ago so she could have been with all the chalutznikim (pioneers) building up the land in the early years of Zionism. It seems like its her dream to drain the swamps and catch malaria. All she wants is to quote the bible around the finjan while wearing short shorts and a kova tembel.

To her, the time of the chalutzim was the honeymoon period for Zionism. Back before we had a corrupt government, before we'd displaced the Palestinians and before we conquered the West Bank. It was a time for idealism, socialism and youth empowerment.

For a while I agreed with her. Not completely, but I did wish that I could have been part of the building up of the land, also to be naive of the consequences of the renewed Jewish presence here.

But this shabbat changed my mind. This shabbat I met the new pioneers.

I spent the weekend in a yishuv near Maale Adumim called Alon. In Alon there is a midrasha called Ein Prat. Now this isn't a standard midrasha. There are boys and girls who learn there. They learn from 9am till 1am at night. They learn the standard Jewish texts like gemara, tanach etc. They also learn philosophy from the greeks to the nihilists and existentialists.

Most interesting was that the midrasha was half religious and half secular. But its not a kiruv place, you don't find baalei teshuva there. Instead its just an open place where every person's opinion is valued and where the fresh views and thoughts of the secular students are just as important as rashi or tosfot.

Now how is this pioneering?

Well I've been living in Jerusalem for a while now but I've also lived here before. As beautiful as Jerusalem is, it's a place teeming with hatred. Everybody here knows that they are correct and that their way of life is right and that everybody else is wrong. They know this utterly and completely. Its just so intense.

But in Ein Prat they are pioneering a new type of Israel. One where everybody takes ownership of their Judaism. There our ancient texts aren't just the property of the religious but the inheritance of us all.

It was the type of Israel that I want to be a part of and that I want to help build. It was the new draining of swamps. It's worth catching malaria for.

Festival de la Shuk

Tonight there was a "shuk tarbut" or culture market at the machaneh yehuda market around the corner from my apartment.

It was officially called "balabusta" and it was exceptional.

There was salsa dancing, capoeira, break dancing, afro-reggae, modern klezmer electronica, various arts and crafts and many different jerusalemites out in force.

While there, I was approached by Jews for Jesus. Unfortunate but true.

Tomorrow is my first day of summer ulpan at Hebrew U. I'm in level Dalet, it goes from 8.30am to 1.30pm Sunday to Thursday for the next 6 weeks.

Two last things

1. tomorrow I'm also going to the Jerusalem wine festival

2. I may have a date in the near future, I'll keep y'all posted.

Jtown shabbat

I spent shabbat in Jerusalem.

Friday night I went to the Aussie boys apartment in Katamon. We went to the Rambam shule nearby which has been renamed Mizrachi after its Balaclava rd equivalent. Pretty much every single Bnei Oleh was there, making it a strange reunion with all my old madrichim.

There were almost no Israelis at shule and even fewer married people. It was just a shule teeming with chutznik singletons in their (very) late 20s. So strange.

At dinner there were 18 people. Mainly Australians with a few South Africans for good measure. The tafnit boys were there from marava and they decorated the place with flowers and lovely table settings. Strange but true.

Highlights of the meal were as follows: my sushi salad (no seriously, u better propose quick b/c this salad is that good), gazpacho and chocolate & peanut butter ice cream mousse cake thing.

But mostly, it was just nice to feel at home in Jerusalem, even if it means creating a mini-Caulfield here.

Back at my apartment my American housemates had a few guests over for shabbat so we all had lunch together. They were surprisingly interesting and intelligent. They were also vegetarian and left-wing so they get points there too. But sadly nothing can be done about that accent.

One of the guests announced that there was a speaker at the King Salomon hotel talking about abortion, surrogate mothers and organ donation. So off we went to go hear it. To our surprise it was actually about how men are smarter/wiser/more logical/just generally infinitely superior to women. Therefore "a woman's role in the marriage is to pick out the sofas" (no seriously that's a direct quote folks) and the man's role is to guide the family spiritually and logically.

We walked out mid-way.

And then we saw a baby that look like a cone-headed alien which made it all better.

The rest of the afternoon was spent sleeping and listening to the Americans read out passages from a book called "the year of living biblically" (http://www.ajjacobs.com/books/yolb.asp) its pretty amusing.

All in all it was nice to feel like I live in Jerusalem now. Like it's my home.