Food Festage

Last night I went to the Old City Flavors festival with my housemate. While flavors associated with this area normally include urine, cat and inter/intra ethnicity tensions, the festival was actually delicious.

We had wonderful fried dumplings (kubeh) with mushrooms and chickpeas and curry. Mmmm deep fried goodness. We also had a couple of classes of wine (with complimentary glasses - this is important b/c a) who doesn't like compliments and b) my other housemate keeps breaking our wine glasses). Deliciously, we also had a plate of various cheeses. I've come to realise that there's not really a cheese that I don't like but I do particularly like the creamy variety and the crumbly variety, but not the dry type so much. Also the stronger the flavor the better. Yummmy moldy stinky cheesy goodness.

We then wandered around the old city (where I once lived) and listened to the music. We went to a lookout/balcony over the kotel and there we discovered a true life frummy couple from Lakewood. JOY. They had picked up a crazy from the old city and he was photographing them in various poses with the kotel in the background. He had no gripes with yelling at them to swap sides, to lean in, lean out etc. At some point he even said "can you cry?" - very strange indeed. Part of the awkwardness of the photos was that the very frum couple were obviously in niddah and couldn't touch. so the husband wouldn't sit on the same bench as his wife. Hilarious. The crazy man also yelled at me and my housemate to clink glasses so he could take a photo of us as well for the couple to remember us with.

Obviously then they started playing Jewish geography and it turns out that the husband is probably related to my housemate. So he got her to give her all her family details and contact details so he could add to the family tree.

For my own entertainment I then asked him if he could find her a shidduch. I told him that she wants a very frum boy please. He then proceeded to ask her what yeshiva he should come from and if she's going to cover he hair. Classic.

Two final notes - first - as a kashrut keeper, living in Israel has a lot of benefits from a culinary perspective and second that I'll keep y'all posted on my housemates hilarious shidduch offers/dates.

TTFN (google it)

What War Zone?

Today was my first J'lem terrorist attack (or piguah) for the year. I've been in Israel for bombings before and I've been in Israel for wars before. But this is the first one of this year and hence it warrants a blog post.

I was in a class on solutions to the agunah crisis (divorce issues) when a girl announced that there's been a piguah on a bus by binyanei ha'uma. The lecturer asked how many injured/hurt. She answered that no fatalities yet but over 20 people hurt. We had a moment where we all looked at each other and didn't know what to do. The lecturer then continued teaching the class while we all subtly started texting our loved ones checking they are alright. Those of us who have internet in lecture halls went online to check the news.

That was it. We basically went straight back on with our lives.

To be honest, every other time I've been in Israel it's pretty much been the same. Normal life goes on.

So how do I feel?

Well it was very close to my house. Not that I was at home but still. Also it was a pretty big reminder that I'm not living in the West but instead smack bang in the middle east.

Intellectually and emotionally it's hard for me as a westerner to understand why people would do these things. Particularly I find it hard in relation to Gaza where there is the option for autonomy and independent statehood in pre-67 borders but the rockets keep falling and not just on marginal towns like Sderot (not that it's ok there either) but also on major cities like Be'er Sheva. It's hard for me when I consider the London bombings and how middle-class people with tertiary degrees could execute such attacks. As somebody who likes to put it all down economic theory and Marx sometimes its hard to cope with totally foreign and strong ideologies. Particularly when we come from the west which is today largely an ideology free zone.

On the other hand I don't find it that hard to comprehend since, to be honest, I don't really expect much more from humanity. I mean for the most part the whole world has spent all of history in a constant state of war. Indeed most of Africa is still like that. I suppose it's all well and good that Europe and the West has finally gotten its act together but it took a couple of super giant big wars/genocides for them to learn. More then that, even in our law and order filled countries there is still murder and family violence and street violence.

I came to a realization when I was 16 that human beings suck.

So I suppose that today is no different than any other day. Except that today the suckiness was closer to home.

Puzza

So here in Zion we don't just have 1 day of Purim - not even 2 days of Purim - but I had 4 days of Purim.

It all started on Friday when I went with a bunch of my friends to an absorption center called Beit Alfa in a town called Beit Shean. It houses only Ethiopian migrants where they stay while they learn Hebrew until they can move on to being guards for banks and cafes.

So there we were, 10 white kids in a sea of Africans. It was wonderful. Kabbalat shabbat was beautiful - everybody wore long white flowing robes with embroidery along the edges. There was a lot of clapping in the service. Interestingly, since most of the migrants can't read Hebrew the community has a habit of having the chazzan say one word of the shema and then the whole community repeats it after him. As for the amida, the chazzan says the whole thing out loud (there's no quiet prayer time) with the community saying amen after each bracha. You really get the meaning of communal prayer in Beit Alfa.

Anyways, then we had dinner and put on a play for the kids about the story of Purim. The kids are crazy friendly. As a non-kid-friendly person I was easily won over by their cornrows and pink palms.

The next day was a standard shabbat morning. We then had lunch and went for a walk to the local Japanese gardens in the kibbutz next door. Very strange seeing a bunch of Sabra Israelis and newly arrived Ethiopians lounging around appreciating bonsai.

That afternoon we put on another play about the Purim story - this time for the adults with an Amharic translation (in these communities the kids speak Hebrew but the parents frequently don't). I played a very graceful but tragic Queen Vashti. She stuck it to the man and died a martyr's death.

On motzash we read the megillah to the community. For many of them it was their first Purim ever. We then drove back to Jerusalem. We arrived very late. I then did a uni assignment and wallowed in self pity.

But I then arose to a beautiful day on Sunday. I dressed up as the monopoly man and went to my Rabbi's seuda where it was themed 'games.' Adorably the Rabbi and his wife were dressed up as the ghosts of pacman. The Rabbi was drunk and as a person who is generally a bit abrasive but amusing - he was all out harsh and hilarious. And I quote: "you are a fool" and "you are excommunicated - I can do that - because I'm a Rabbi."

After a hurried rush through traffic back to Jlem I heard the megillah at my local geriatric hospital (no, but seriously, I love old people.) Then it was out to the shuk party. Wonderful DJing and great costumes (meaning funny/smart and no jobs=sex ie: sexy policeman, sexy pilot, sexy santa).

The next day we had a lovely and late megillah reading in Nachlaot, then on to seuda (mmmm Guinness cake and marscapone hamentaschen) and Mishloach Manot delivering. Also its much easier to give matanot l'evionim in Israel than in Oz. But that's not actually a good thing.

Then there rest of the afternoon was spent in the sun dancing in the spontaneous street parties with local bands and DJs. Notable events include having to pause everybody in the vicinity's dancing while I said "woah woah woah' and publicly shamed an Israeli groper/dancer. Also having to flee from slightly too persistent male Israeli dancers with my housemate. As she puts it we were 'draped' = dance+raped. But all in all - it was a super awesome festival.

When the celebrations died down that night I saw a clockwork orange for the first time. Now that shit is wack.

And that is all.

Catch Up

I will now endevour to catch you up on my life. There's been two shabbatot that I did not blog about but probably should.

The first was my shabbat away with my beit midrash, a program called hevruta. I've mentioned it before. So if you haven't been keeping track then I recommend that you trawl through my previous posts. It will be an educational and entertaining experience.

It was a lovely shabbat in Kibbutz Snir. It included a poiyke at like midnight. Which is cool, my only wish that we didn't sing Israeli pop songs from the 90s, since I was not a child in Israel at that time. On Friday there was a super fun hike which included walking through Druze villages and splashing through streams. Also the weather was beautiful. The shabbat itself was pretty standard; chulent, shiurim, tischim, flirting, etc.

My critique on the shabbat is that the beit midrash has all types of religious people in it. Even non-religious, ideologically secular people in the beit midrash. The shabbat however was totally orthodox. It made the environment less inclusive or pluralist. And being a leftish wanker I really like those things.

My last shabbat I was in Givat Shmuel (ie: Bar Ilan) with my friends who've made aliya. They are all very nice and it was a super pleasant shabbat. Am still happy that I'm not living there for the following reasons

1) wayyyy too many anglos. It's strange to be in shule and nobody speaks Hebrew

2) wayyy too many dosim. As a frummie myself I feel its fair for me to say that religos are dull.

But on a good note we had lunch with Belgians. I learnt the following things about Belgians

1) OMG they are exceedingly good looking - girls and boys alike

2) They speak French but are superior to the French b/c they also speak English and the secret language flemmish.

Lastly am letting you all know that I've started an internship. It's at the Centre for Women's Justice. My first point of work was to send a letter to Rabbi and Ms. Irving and Blu Greenberg (modox nerds should appreciate that).

Other than that my life is busy, I have an assignment due on halachic options for female rabbis and another one on the hakachic attitude towards fetuses. Both due over Purim. Poohead professors.

In that case I better get back to work.

International Women's Day

I have a story to tell y'all.

It happened just last night.

It began with a knock on our door. My house-mate answered and opened the door to find a haredi man with a long beard and payos, dressed in black and white. He asked for some tzaddakah, charity. So my house-mate gave him a few coins from her purse.

He then offered her a bracha, blessing, in thanks for the charity.

She normally says no thanks but this time she said; sure, why not.

He asked for half a glass of water for the ritual.

So she went and got him half a glass of water.

He said that we was going to have to put the water on her hands, face and stomach for the bracha to work.

So he starts waving his hand over the glass mumbling to himself in Hebrew. He asks for her name. Then her mothers name. Then her fathers name. He continues mumbling in Hebrew over the glass.

Then he dips his fingers in the glass and gestures for her hands. He rubs the water with his fingers over her palms. He then dips his fingers in the glass again and rubs the water over her cheeks. He then dips his fingers in the glass one more time and then places his hand UNDER HER SHIRT and rubs the water around her belly button.

OK. Obviously at this point she should have told him to leave.

But sometimes when strange and wrong things happen to you, you just freeze and don't know what to do. Your mind just shuts down.

So no judging the victim y'all.

He then steps into the house and sits down.

He covers his eyes with one hand and says that in order for the next step of the bracha to work she has to LIFT UP HER TOP. In her half stunned and shocked state she makes a weak attempt at lifting up her top but not really exposing anything, while he keeps one hand over his eyes and another hand gesturing over the water while mumbling to himself in Hebrew.

He then stands up and says for the next stage of the bracha their tummies have to touch.

With this she decides that she's had enough and asks him to leave.

But he won't, without a hug. So she lets him hug her. But he tells her that she has to hug him back.

So she does.

Then he leaves with the money that she gave him in the beginning. In essence she just paid him to molest her.

With this story I wish you all a meaningful International Women's Day.

http://www.internationalwomensday.com/

Nati's Brother

Tonight I had a wonderful experience.

I went to a homosexuality and orthodoxy panel tonight.

For those of you who remember Ailon Goldstein - he was the adjudicator/host of the evening.

It began with a talk from Rabbi Benny Lau of the famed Ramban community in Katamon. He spoke of the need for patience in the gay community because their families and communities will take a while to accept them but that baby steps happen all the time and slowly slowly the religious world is progressing.

Then Rabbi Arleh Harel (the past Rosh Yeshiva of Shilo) who spoke about how homosexuality, both the act and the lifestyle, is forbidden. Furthermore that in his role as a counselor for homosexual religious boy-men, he refers them on to conversion therapy.

After that a gay-religious lawyer spoke very charismatically about how in place of patience in our society we need tolerance (it's a good play of words in hebrew). He also spoke about how homosexuality is a sin between man and his maker and therefore as a community we shouldn't interfere here, but rather we should focus on mitzvot that are between man and his neighbour and hence we should be more inclusive.

This was followed by a lesbian representative who echoed the lawyers requests. She added that she doesn't want any privileges but rather simply the same rights as heterosexuals, the right to get married, the right to have children/adopt.

There was then a speaker from Hebrew University who used to be Haredi and now also heads a secular Beit Midrash. He read out many of the very offensive things that rabbis have written about homosexuality in recent times. He also sought to argue that lesbianism is a totally new prohibition invented only in the wake of the feminist/sexual revolution.

After that there was alot of arguing backwards and forward - but it was generally done in a very polite and respectful manner. The crowd were abit rowdy - but I found that entertaining more than anything.

If you would like to check out the website please see http://www.hujihillel.org.il/59460/%D7%90%D7%AA-%D7%A9%D7%90%D7%94%D7%91%D7%94-%D7%A0%D7%A4%D7%A9%D7%99

Other then that - my personal response to this evening is one of immense pride. I went to a homosexuality panel in Australia (I even helped host it) and the speakers said nothing controversial in the least. It was, to put it in Jew terms, very parve. I also read the Yeshiva University panel transcript and that also wasn't nearly as passionate. At this panel I feel they managed to get over their fear of offending people and really deal with the issues. They didn't resolve them, obviously, but they were raised n discussed. Which I suppose is all that we can expect for the present.

In any case - it was very impressive.

girl crushing

I have a friend crush on a girl from my beit midrash.

She frequently learns with her chevruta on the same table as me so we've been chatting a little. As such I've discovered that she's basically who I would want to be if I was Israeli.

First of all I'd like to point out that she's cool. She has an adorable blonde curly bob, interesting glasses and awesome clothes. For you hemp wearers you will just have to deal with the fact that I'm shallow.

She grew up in Bakka in Jlem. She was a Bnei Akiva madricha and is still a madricha for a garin in the movement.

Now you may think that this doesn't bide well for her awesomeness stats.

However, she's also a participant in the non-denominational mixed religious-secular male-female beit midrash that I attend. Pretty progressive for a Bnei Akiva girl right?

Better than that she identifies as modern orthodox and not religious zionist. The distinctions between the two groups are frequently lost of the average Israeli.

But most awesome of all is her involvement in the solidarity movement from Hebrew Univeristy which attempts to defend Arab rights in Israel; from the injustices in Sheikh Jarrah, to the discrimination in east Jerusalem to house demolitions in Lod. She spends most of he spare time attending the homes of those whose kids were unfairly taken into custody by the police, or those whose homes were demolished, or those who can't find employment because people don't hire Arabs.

And she does this all in a skirt and 3/4 sleeve tops. Then when it's all done she goes and spreads her message of multiculturalism and equal rights to her kids in Bnei Akiva.

So subversive.

Basically. She's awesome.

Hence the crush.