Cradle-Snatching

So who wants to hear about my recent dating escapades?

Well, you gotta give the people what they want.

This story begins 2 weeks ago on Shabbat. I went to a seuda shlishit in Nachlaot, hosted by an almost-30-yr-old-singleton. There I met Josh.

"So what do you do?" asks I

"Oh, I'm an accountant" the suitor replies.

"Wow, you must be rolling in it. Israeli accountants are loaded apaz" was my clearly inappropriate response. Am such an idiot.

But it seems that he was smitten with my adorable gall and chutzpah and therefore after shabbat he tracked myself and my number down. He then called me and asked me out. I politely accepted and hoped he didn't think it was b/c I was a gold-digger.

We went on a first date the following Saturday night. We had iced drinks (waaaaaay too hot to even mention the word coffee, just typing it makes me sweat) and then we went for a walk in the park. And yes, we did the whole sitting on a park bench with like a meter in between us to avoid any chance of any body parts grazing each other. B/c we all know that should that happen (chas v'challila) I immediately will become pregnant and will lose my place in Olam Habah.

So here's the vital statistics on Josh.

Original location: New York

Yeshiva: Mevasseret Zion

College: YU

Occupation: as previously mentioned - Accountant.

Now how old was this suitor? 29.

Yes, 29.

Yup, that's totally like only a few months away from 30.

Like 8 years older than me. Like almost born in the 70s. Like remembers a time before microwaves and the internet. Like may actually be interested in the spam emails offering cheap blue pills.

Anyways so I very quickly discovered that he probably wasn't so well suited for me. But I still went on a second date with him b/c I couldn't really find a reason other than HE'S SUPER BORING!

The second date was set for 8pm. Is this a dinner time? I had no idea. I called a bajillion people and the consensus was it was a dinner date. So I didn't eat lunch.

Wrong.

While starving and walking in another park I got to discover that this young(ish) man has been frum all his life, he never breaks the rules, he doesn't like music or film or books or torah or thinking. He likes basketball and sleeping. Fascinating stuff. Oh and he just loves talking like Woody Allen. But he doesn't realise he's doing this yet. Gosh, nervous over-analyzing New Yorkers are much more amusing on film.

The end of the date came around and he asked if he could call me the next day. At which point I very sensitively explained to him that I don't keep rules and that I like alot of stuff and that I like talking about it. Oh and I'm a left-wing-frum-feminist-tree-hugging-heretical-hippy.

To which he agreed with me that we might not be so suited for each other and that it'd be best if we didn't continue seeing each other and went on his merry way.

The same day two things happened

1) Some other boy changed his mind and decided that he doesn't want to go out with me b/c I haven't made aliya (this is actually ok with me, u'll hear the story behind this another time)

2) I got offered another date with another American. So we'll see how this one goes.

Am having another Jlem shabbat - should be fun!

Shabbat shalom