Secret Women's Business

So this blog post isn't a chabad/kiruv 'the beauty of family purity' manifesto but it is going to be a discussion of a friend of mine's experiences at the mikvah. It just so happens that her experiences were largely positive.

For those who are unfamiliar with the subject you can check this out.

Anyway, so my friend lives in Jerusalem and being an orthodox woman she keeps the laws of family purity. The mikvah she attends is in the eclectic neighbourhood of Nachlaot. The mix of demographics in the suburb is reflected in the mikvah attendees. There are hassidic women with their heads shaved. There are hippies with dreadlocks and no shoes. There are old sephardi women. There are even women you wouldn't expect, ones with tattoos and piercings.

The mikvah itself is beautiful. It's clean and modern. Very much like a spa. It's managed to maintain some of the old Jerusalem architecture along with the renovation to allow for lots of frosted glass and good heating. Not to mention fluffy towels. There's even a hair/make-up spot with blow driers and cosmetics for prettifying post-mikvah.

The balaniot (the mikvah attendants) are really polite and considerate. There is no checking your nails or looking for bits of unbuffed skin on your feet. They simply ask if you've prepared according to your minhagim (traditions) and then get you to step into the mikvah. Obviously they hold the towel up so they don't really look at you during this.

The balanit could tell that my friend was still new at this and a bit nervous, so she told her to take a few deep breaths and to calm herself before saying the bracha and taking the dips. After each dip the balanit declared in a very calm and soothing voice "kasher." As my friend walked up the stairs the balanit congratulated her on doing a great and important mitzvah and then shook her hand. Kinda hilarious given that she was naked at the time.

Anyways what she claims is that the most positive experience out of the mikvah outings is the sense of camaraderie between the women there. In the waiting room you have women of all types chatting about the towels or about kids or about the chaggim or about the cottage cheese protests or the katzav verdict. In a world where there aren't always options for women of different creeds to meet, the mikvah is a safe place.

Obviously this is just one person's opinion and experience. But I think it's one that people should know about. Because even if you think that family purity is misogynistic there's always two sides to every coin and the cultural narrative is one that we create. So why not create a positive one?

With that - have a great week folks.