Announcements

Men of Jerusalem I have a few important announcements for you.

1) If you are married you must wear a wedding ring. If you do not - you are a tease. Particularly if you are wearing a kippa. Seriously, if you led people in other areas into believing that you are, say a doctor or rich, you would be sued and people may die, the same should apply (minus the people dying part) if you are married but do not indicate that in any way. How else am I meant to know who to smile at or invite to my study group (if ya know what I mean ;p)

2) Do not pause mid-conversation with me to check out a girls tits and then say 'G-d, that was awesome.' I feel like this one is pretty self-explanatory. Don't be gross.

3) If you are a native English speaker and I'm speaking to you in English and I know you speak English because we are discussing your childhood in America, speak to me in English. Seriously, don't pretend that you've forgotten our mother language, because you live in Katamon and learnt at a Chutznik yeshiva, we both know you still speak English. You're not fooling anyone, except maybe yourself. Fool.

4) Man-bags are not an appropriate accessory. You have pockets, use them! You should not need anything more than phone-keys-wallet and therefore should not need a bag. But if you must, it may be a stachel, but a small murse is not ironic, it's just lame.

There you have it folks - two posts in one day - am I a good blogger or what?