Jerusalem Food Porn

Since my abandonment of Zion is imminent I have decided to record some recommendations for epicureans while I still remember where the shit is at.

Food.

1) Indian by the shuk.

It's on I think "HaEshkol" - in any case it's the only street that runs off the open part of the shuk. For just over 30 shek you can share a massive plate of rice, daal, curries and chutneys. They also make a killer Lassie.

2) Moussline

French ice creamery next to the Indian place. Feel like Chai Masala ice cream? or maybe Arak and Melon? Safran perhaps? Nah - definitely basil ice cream please!

3) Ima

Kubeh bar in the shuk. The guy who owns the place always come n has a seat with us and asks about our day. Occasionally I even got free stuffed vine leaves - but that's coz the waiter wanted my number (and a little something else). Their beetroot kubeh is highly recommended - but not for vegetarians. Soz babez.

4) Pasta basta

Ok it's also in the shuk - I'm lazy - wat's it to ya? But here you can get 4 cheese fettuccine for 25 shek. That's right - 4 different types of cheese on your pasta. You may commence drooling now.

5) Fishen Chips.

The fish n chips place in.... the shuk. They lose points for the silly spelling of their shop. But they win points for having stuffed beer battered deep fried capsicums covered in cheese. Omigosh. Then again you could deep fry n cheese coat a chair n it would taste amazing.

6) Topalino

On Agripas by the open shuk. Best Italian food outside of Italy. And having been to Italy (twice!) I'd say its pretty stiff competition even for the native food. It's a bit pricey but it's worth it for beetroot gnocchi with spinach, cream and garlic sauce. or even better chestnut gnocchi with amaretto, pistachio and cream sauce. mmmmm... cream....

7)Health Kitchen

On "agas' street in the shuk. Vegetarian goodness. They make a mean gastpacho.

8) Sushiya

Hidden sushi place on Bezalel behind Nocterno. Truth is - it's not as good as Japanika but it's a lot closer to home. And they make super good sushi with tempura sweet potato and rice-bubble coating.

9) Tmol Shilshom

Who can resist a restaurant in a second hand book store in the 2nd oldest neighborhood outside of the old city? recommended: their pear and riccota ravioli with balsamic dressing.

10) Chummous on Ben Sira

OMIGOSH. This place had a line out the front of it even time I walked past but it didn't have a teudat kashrut until.... now! So it has become an obligatory late night stop on Thursday nights (the Saturday night of the middle east). Never have you had chummous like this. So so creamy. The cauliflower one is the best. or mushroom. Or onion. om nom nom.

Drinkies.

1) Slow Moshe

On Nissim Bechar in Nachlaot. Israelis call is "slow", Anglos call it "slow mo". That's how you can tell us apart. Oh and our refusal to wear socks n sandals and that we can wait in a line and that we don't elbow old ladies in the nose to get on a bus. But back to the bar. It's cute and small and local. Good dim lighting.

2) May 5th.

In the shuk. Killer joint. Cafe by day. Hipster heaven by night. Cherry beer, dupstep and live bands so we can dance down the streets of the shuk. My favorite (also super close to home)

3) Uganda

Palestinian beer on tap - check. Post-rock being played by an obscure German 2 piece - check. Cue the entrance of a million pretentious wankers with asymmetrical haircuts n fake glasses. Just my type of place.

4) Sira

On Ben Sira (conveniently located near the chummous place...) Best DJs here. And if they are playing 70s funk/soul they are fully dedicated and wouldn't dream of stepping up to the decks without side burns an afro and bell bottoms.

5) HaTaklit

Look, it's more of an indie club than a bar but I like the decor of the place n if I ever feel like mixed dancing again, u know where u'll find me.

And there u have it - 10 restaurants and 5 bars. You can tell I'm Jewish right?