Mental Illness

I clearly must have some sort of mental illness that affects religious girls of my age. The sickness of my soul is as follows almost every night this week I dreamed about a wedding.

1) I dreamed that it was the day before my wedding and nothing was organised. I didn’t have a dress or a venue or caterers or photographers and nobody was invited yet. Then the groom rocked up with his mother. Only then did I discover that I was marrying a Thailandi migrant worker. His very old and wrinkled mother was very happy that he was marrying a white girl. I however was very confused how any of this came to be.

2) I dreamed that my friend and I had to pretend to be married to allow him to stay in the country. In order to fool the authorities we decided that throwing a sheva brachot party is the way to convince them that we are a real married couple. However the only couple we could find to throw a party for were Druze. This presented its own problems since the Druze women wouldn’t sit at the same table as the men. Just as we were trying to settle this, the authorities came and we had to pretend that the party was going really well while all around us the Druzim were fighting and yelling at eachtoher. Very strange indeed.

3) I dreamed that I was at an Ethiopian wedding and I was trying to get a tremp (lift) back to Jerusalem. But I don’t peak Amharic so it was impossible to communicate with the guests. There were also many many guests and being quite little, I was feeling very crushed by the masses.

4) I dreamed that I was marrying a boy from my home town. There were once again lots of logistical problems with the wedding – the venue didn’t have any tables or chairs and the chupa was too short for us to stand under. So I met up with him to discuss these problems but then Igot really upset that this was going to ruin my bedeken.

What we see from these dreams is that I clearly have anxiety about marriage/weddings since none of these dreams were positive or happy. They were all stressfull and overwhelming. I think this makes sense since many of my friends are married or are getting married and sometimes I suppose I feel super overwhelmed by this, hence the dreams. Thanks Freud. Oh and I have penis envy and mother issues.

In other news the yomim noraim zionim were wonderful – I went to a tekes at kikar rabin – there were like 10,000 people there, it felt like I was there with the entire nation. The next day I went to Har Herzl. The night of yom haatzmaut was spent dancing rikudei am in kikar safra and watching the many concerts around the centre of town. In traditional style the day was spend at a barbeque in gan sacher. It was different however because ours was vegetarian.

All in all it was a beautiful Zionist experience. Golda would have been proud.