The Attraction of Lesbians

So I was checking my blog stats the other day n discovered a really interesting thing. The most popular post of mine is my Girl Crushing one. Look, I'll admit it's relatively interesting but more interesting than Frenchies? Or the Perfect Man?

It doesn't take a Gender and Sexuality major to work out what's going on here. People are googling Jewish Lesbians and are getting directed to my blog. Must be very disappointing for them. nevertheless I'm going to exploit this discovery to elicit more followers via google. Hence the Lesbians in my title. Who know's maybe they'll give up their search for girl on girl action and chose to read about modern orthodoxy and mormons instead? Likely I say. Very Likely.

In other news on Tuesday night I went to the messibat siyum for my beit midrash for massechet chagiga. Fun times. I gave my shiur on korbanot in the future in the holy language (no, not yiddish). It went well I'd say, particularly since none of the scary PhDs or Rabbis came, only my comrades who are not too intimidating. Other than the event was very impressive. We saw a short film starring one of the rabbis about the relationship between Elisha ben Abuya and R'Meir. It's a terrible film - but adorable nonetheless. We saw somebody do an interpretive dance of the massechet. I kid you not. It would have been more impressive had his fly not been open. Awkies. One of the students is a composer and she composed an incredible classic music piece to the massechet. It was very possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever heard - the arguments and questions and stories of the gemara being played out on a piano. All in all - it was wonderful and happy and fun.

Yesterday was Yom Yerushalayim. I went to Tel Aviv. Now you may think this was a political statement and it was a little bit. But mainly I simply don't have Sundays and Fridays are spent cooking n cleaning so when I had a real day off I didn't want to spend it in Jlem. I wanted the beach. And so the beach I got. We went to the beach by Yafo and then to the old train stationfor a wander. Only to discover that Yom Yerushalayim is the day that arsim and frechot get married. It was teeming with overweight, drag queen make-uped, fake tanned, glittery dressed brides having their photos taken. It was both entertaining and nauseating. Then it was off to Dizingoff for the best shwarma in the land. It's right below the fountain. They only bake the laffa once you order and the meat (yes - I ate meat, but it was worth it) is not from a stick, instead its grilled in front of you once you order. And it's only 25 shek (though this time last year it was only 22 shek). Also the shwarma man is nice n friendly n not all sleazy/rude. Basically it's strongly recommended.

This shabz I'm having past sherut girls over and we're having a picnic in the park with my university friends. Yayness!

With that, sabbatical salutations O loyal followers.

The Parentals

Miss me?

So my parents arrived the Thursday before Pesach. I met them at 7am at Ben Gurion airport. Yes, 7am. It hurt. A lot.

We then picked up the hire car (which at no point was I permitted to drive) and went to the namal of Tel Aviv for a quiet port side breakfast. After that we popped into Yafo for the flea market, we then drove through Florentine and did some more window shopping in Neve Tzedek.

Following these escapades we drove north to Kibbutz Shefayim where we were staying that night. We went out for dinner with a friend of my parents in Herzliya. My parents went dancing that night and I reveled in the joys of Israeli TV. I can say, that having lived 9 months in Israel without a TV that I really haven't been missing out.

Friday included a brief shop in the Herzliya mall before driving further north to Zichron Yaakov. Conveniently, since it was Friday afternoon we did not see the first aliya museum, or the aaronson museum or visit any wineries. Which meant there was nothing to do in Zichron. The place however was otherwise adorable. The buildings are old, the restaurants have very nice food and the shops are all artsy and craftsy. We spent shabbat in a very small hotel there and on motzash my parents went dancing again and I returned to my beloved TV (this time to bask in the glories of Gilmore Girls).

Sunday we drove down the number 6 tollway (= best road in the middle east), I once again was not permitted to drive to Jerusalem. I then sent my parents to the Israel museum so I could spend over 4 hours cleaning the kitchen for Pesach. Fun times.

That night I took my parents to the best Italian restaurant in Israel - Topolino. We got stuffed artichoke hearts, stuffed sardines, Lasagna, beetroot gnocchi and chestnut gnocchi. H.E.A.V.E.N.

Seder was hilarious. It was my parents, myself and two of my Australian friends PLUS my dearest darling German Lutheran Pastor. He asked really good questions and even answered some of ours. But it was a bit awkies when we were asking the lord almighty to pour out his wrath to the nations of the world (ie: our enemies).

Post-chag we went back to Yafo to eat at Dr.Shakshuka and to window shop at HaTachana - the gentrified old train station between Yafo and Neve Tzedek. Highly recommended.

The next day was at the dead sea.

Back again to Tel Aviv for the Nachalat Binyamin street craft markets.

Shabbat and more Chol HaMoed in Jlem. Last day of Pesach I took my folks to the old city (which used to be my old stomping ground). In addition to the usual places, I showed my parents around the Holy Sepulchre just in time for Easter. It's a really beautiful church, more than a bit unfortunate that I don't really understand all the artwork n the like within it.

The next day my parents were leaving so we did some last minute shopping, I took them out for kubeh and french ice cream (mmmm basil ice cream) then off to the airport for their week in an airplane to arrive in Australia.

Things that I learnt while my parents were in Zion include the following;

- Jerusalem is nuts, everybody here is slightly mad/disturbed.

- There is such a thing as caramel spread, it's like chocolate spread but better

- One day I will have a degree and a job and will no longer be poor (but until then - thanks parents!)

- Cars are amazing, seriously superior to all other forms of transport. Other than unicorn. OBVZ.

Thus ends a summary of my parents visitation to Jewland.

Stay turned for a post on the following topics; my tiyul in Ein Karem (warning: contains nudity), my trip to a friend's tekes kumta, my sailing and sabbatical adventures.

Apart from that on Sunday I return to university. Sob.