Catch Up

I will now endevour to catch you up on my life. There's been two shabbatot that I did not blog about but probably should.

The first was my shabbat away with my beit midrash, a program called hevruta. I've mentioned it before. So if you haven't been keeping track then I recommend that you trawl through my previous posts. It will be an educational and entertaining experience.

It was a lovely shabbat in Kibbutz Snir. It included a poiyke at like midnight. Which is cool, my only wish that we didn't sing Israeli pop songs from the 90s, since I was not a child in Israel at that time. On Friday there was a super fun hike which included walking through Druze villages and splashing through streams. Also the weather was beautiful. The shabbat itself was pretty standard; chulent, shiurim, tischim, flirting, etc.

My critique on the shabbat is that the beit midrash has all types of religious people in it. Even non-religious, ideologically secular people in the beit midrash. The shabbat however was totally orthodox. It made the environment less inclusive or pluralist. And being a leftish wanker I really like those things.

My last shabbat I was in Givat Shmuel (ie: Bar Ilan) with my friends who've made aliya. They are all very nice and it was a super pleasant shabbat. Am still happy that I'm not living there for the following reasons

1) wayyyy too many anglos. It's strange to be in shule and nobody speaks Hebrew

2) wayyy too many dosim. As a frummie myself I feel its fair for me to say that religos are dull.

But on a good note we had lunch with Belgians. I learnt the following things about Belgians

1) OMG they are exceedingly good looking - girls and boys alike

2) They speak French but are superior to the French b/c they also speak English and the secret language flemmish.

Lastly am letting you all know that I've started an internship. It's at the Centre for Women's Justice. My first point of work was to send a letter to Rabbi and Ms. Irving and Blu Greenberg (modox nerds should appreciate that).

Other than that my life is busy, I have an assignment due on halachic options for female rabbis and another one on the hakachic attitude towards fetuses. Both due over Purim. Poohead professors.

In that case I better get back to work.

A post-shabz pre-oz post

Hi world,

Shabbat was lovely.

Here's what I did.

I went to my usual adorable hippie minyan thats about the size of my kitchen and had a very intense prayer experience. Which is surprising for me b/c I'm close to being the worst davener in history - after Yeshayahu Leibowitz.

Then I had a million people over for dinner (read: 10). As usual with me it was over-catered. But the culinary highlights include split pea soup, Doritos salad and sweet potato pie (the real star of the evening) The company was lovely and I basically just live to be a hostess so I went to bed very satisfied.

Today, I went to Shira Hadasha for shacharit (well I got there in time for torah reading...). There were less women in kippot and talisim this week so I felt more comfortable. The best part however (apart from having hot drinks and whole oranges at the kiddush) was the shiur after shule by Rabbi Ethan Tucker the rosh yeshiva of Machon Hadar. I'll be honest, it wasn't the best shiur I've ever heard (I tend to think that liberal orthodoxy isn't too intellectually honest) but it was pretty good nonetheless.

Then lunch was wonderful. I went to a friend of mine's mum and not only does she have great kids and vegetarian food but also really interesting guests. One was getting his phd in biblical studies. Another works as a researcher for the human rights organisation 'B'Tzelem' and another was a South African human rights lawyer/lecturer. Everybody was lovely and interesting and helped remind me that your can be orthodox and a good person. Surprising, I know.

Other than that, I gotta give y'all a heads up that I may be absent for the next 2 weeks or so. I'm going back to oz for my best friend's wedding and may be a bit distracted by that.

So consider yourselves warned.

Shavua Bov, Ms.b

The Secret Life Of Men

It's been a while since we've had a post shabz post. So here's a return to tradition with something out of the ordinary.

On Friday night I was initiated to a secret society. The have a secret language. Secret handshakes. Secret privileges. Most people aren't allowed in. But I got a sneak peak.

OK you got me. It's not so secret. But I was at a dinner where I was the only girl and I feel like I got an intense insight into the male brain.

And to clarify, by male brain we mean early 20s yeshiva student brain. But still... it was interesting.

One of my first discoveries was that contrary to popular opinion boys can cope without meat. These young men chose to have a vegetarian shabbat meal, much to my pleasure. Additionally they cooked the meal themselves and it was no average meal. Mushroom soup, quiche, a million types of cheese and halva and a giant salad with fruit in it. FRUIT! Though the give away that it was a man-meal could be the abundant amounts of beer and whiskey consumed through the course of the evening. Though that was very nice too.

Furthermore the conversation topics were delightful. They discussed what type of weddings they'd like (traditional, naturist, small...etc) and then they discussed torah for abit (obviously from an academic perspective) and then there was a discussion of women as communal leaders (shlichei tzibbur or rabbis). They consistently had adorably open-minded and well considered opinions. When the topic of rape was brought up, one of the gentlemen found the topic so offensive he asked that we discuss something else. What a mentch!

All in all these man-boys liked women b/c they liked humanity and they liked torah b/c they liked learning and truth.

This dinner gave me hope that even though the majority of jewboys are really just bigoted mummies boys there are those who are a beacon of hope in flowing tzitzit for us all.

Amen brother.

Simchat Torah

I'd like to start this off by stating that Simchat Torah is not a real chag. I'm really happy that we've finished the reading the Torah for the year. I'm sad that Moses has died and excited that the world is about to be created but my idea of celebration doesn't include being sweated on by 500 hairy hippies in a bombshelter-shule.

And therefore I bailed on a lot of Simchat Torah.

But don't go feeling sorry for me b/c of all the chaggim we've had these past few weeks Simchat Torah was my favorite. Here's what I did.

I had people over on Wednesday night. The food (if I do say so myself) was amazing.

• apple and fennel salad
• thai salad
• sushi salad (as always)
• Vietnamese rice rolls
• lasagna
• mushroom quiche
• pomegranate quinoa
• assorted roast veggies

and for dessert peanut butter and chocolate slice.

The guests were wonderful and amusing and they got on surprisingly well with each other. I didn't get to bed till 3am b/c we were chatting so much.

The next day we walked to Shira Chadasha on Emek Refaim which is a very long walk (40 mins) but it was wonderful to get out of Nachlaot and see the rest of Jlem, particularly the wealthier suburbs of Rechavia and Katamon.

After that we took the leftovers and went to Gan Sacher for a picnic and there we stayed watching the natives till sunset. All in all it was a magical day.

Last night the fun continued at the most ridiculously indie locations in Jlem (lets see if you are cool enough to know them)

• Sira
• Heder V'Hetzi
• Uganda (which had an amazing band playing as well a new Turkish beer)

For shabz I'm off to Netanya to catch up with a ex-Melbourne Sherut girl, am pretty excited to be by the coast.

The coming week I'm giving a shiur on Kibbutz Sde Eliyahu on Sunday, I'm not sure what to do then on Monday and Tuesday but on Wednesday I start university. Pishing myself with excitement would be an understatement.

With that am off to Netanya, I'll send your regards to the sunshine and sand and sherut girls,

Shabbat Shalom, Miss.B

Feast of the Tabernacle

Dearest Blog Addicts, I lied to you all.

When I declared that I was going to Pisgat Zeev I lied. I was actually going to Givat Zeev. There's not a huge difference between them though. So I hope that you will forgive me.

Sincerely, Miss. Bogan.

As a reward for your forgiveness I'll fill you in on my chag. I was at a South African family. The awesome thing about the family is that the grandparents at the age of 80 have just 1 month ago made aliya from Cape Town to a retirement village near Netanya. So it's never too late aye?

On Wednesday night I went with the SAF friend to chill with her mates (who are all boys as it turns out). At the get-together there were a few interesting characters. Let me introduce them to you.

1) Very Skinny Probably Gay Drama/Dance Student

2) Ridiculously Good-Looking Architecture Student Rabbi's Son (remember to breathe ladies)

3) Sephardi Twins.

One of these Sephardi twins is in the army unit where they dress up like arabs and go into Jenin and stuff to gather information. Pretty awesome I reckon. But the best part of the twins is that they r super frum and naive. Which means they asked silly questions about Australia and hence got silly answers. For at least 14 hours they thought that we have kangaroos at home and at school to carry our stuff and that you can't walk along the beach b/c of jumping sharks which will jump out of the water and bite you.

But then the next day I explained to them that it wasn't true.

They were devastated.

For Shabbat I was with the Scandinavian family again in the settlement in the Shomron.

My northern European descended friend and I made pecan pie which was more pecan cake than pie but still reasonably awesome. We returned to the famed local ruins and the swinging bench that swings off a mountain, but joined by a SAF friend of mine and two Israeli friends of his. There we chilled and discussed suicide, apartheid and German philosophy.

My plans for this week are not much, Tel Aviv today, a hike tomorrow, then a music festival by the dead sea and then Simchat Torah.

Moadim, L'simcha y'all.

Anonymity

I made a near-fatal mistake. I told somebody about my blog and now I want to blog about them. I have a hilarious story about a person and I can't share it . It's becoming increasingly frustrating and blocking my otherwise hilarious writing ability.

So to comfort myself from the depths of regret I will let ya'll know what my street has the yours probably doesn't.

- 4 shules, only one with a womens section.

- it has a plastic bottles recycling bin, a paper recycling bin and a public gniza.

- it has a well or a mikvah every 100 meters

- the record store nearby has been playing sefardi slichot non-stop for the past week

- a makolet (milkbar) that takes siesta from 1-3pm everyday.

and now what my street doesn't have:

- footpaths (sidewalks for those of u in the US)

- trees

- manners

sabbatical salutations to each and everyone of you (except the person who i want to blog about... u deserve to be woken up many times during your shabbat shluf)

Zee Chermans Are Coming!

So my housemate and I had shabbat together in our house in Nachlaot this week.

We davened friday night in an adorable shteible with lots of turbaned women and closed-eyed swaying and singing. Good points:

Men and women davened side-by-side with a mechitza in the middle.The chazzan davened from in front of the mechitza so both men and women could see him and the shule had a female president. Psht Psht.

We cooked the following dishes:

• Pasta bake
• Thai-Vegan-Shmidt salad
• Roast potato, sweet potato and eggplant
• Israeli salad (of course)
• Sushi Salad (yup it's famous)

We had over a South African girl, two Australians, an American (a New Yorker no less!) and two non-Jewish-Lutherans-about-to-be-pastors from Germany.

Yeh, the Germans I picked up from Ulpan. They couldn't find the house so they climbed up a tree like ninjas to find us. Hilarious. Also we got them to bring beer but disappointingly they only brought Goldstar. Seriously. Having the Germans over was nice, they were interesting and funny. But "don't mention the war!" felt like the elephant in the room.

Dinner went super late so we woke up too late for regular Israeli Shacharit. But honestly 7.30am on a Shabbat morning nobody should be awake. So we went to a 9am Chabad shule where amusingly there was an Australian boy's aufruf/call-up. Longest Shacharit EVER! Kedusha took like 15 minutes, I wish I was joking about it. We left after 2.5 hours and they hadn't even done Haftorah yet. Apart from the long service and overly thick mechitza, I felt abit guilty for davening with idolators.

After lunch we went around the corner to a friend's for dessert. Peach Cobbler, yum yum. There I met a boy from Chovevei in Riverdale, the yeshiva that almost gave smicha to the first orthodox female rabbi. Needless to say I chewed off his ear (not literally - we'd just met!) discussing liberal modern orthodoxy. Just lovely.

Post-nap I went to an Australian girl's apartment in Nachlaot for Seuda Shlishit. There were lots of people there and food and singing. It was delightful. But sadly there were also a lot of older singles there. Gosh they make me nervous. There's such a hunger in their eyes. They look like they are starving.

This week I will go vote and go to the Beer festival. Sounds like a shavua tov to me!

Jtown shabbat

I spent shabbat in Jerusalem.

Friday night I went to the Aussie boys apartment in Katamon. We went to the Rambam shule nearby which has been renamed Mizrachi after its Balaclava rd equivalent. Pretty much every single Bnei Oleh was there, making it a strange reunion with all my old madrichim.

There were almost no Israelis at shule and even fewer married people. It was just a shule teeming with chutznik singletons in their (very) late 20s. So strange.

At dinner there were 18 people. Mainly Australians with a few South Africans for good measure. The tafnit boys were there from marava and they decorated the place with flowers and lovely table settings. Strange but true.

Highlights of the meal were as follows: my sushi salad (no seriously, u better propose quick b/c this salad is that good), gazpacho and chocolate & peanut butter ice cream mousse cake thing.

But mostly, it was just nice to feel at home in Jerusalem, even if it means creating a mini-Caulfield here.

Back at my apartment my American housemates had a few guests over for shabbat so we all had lunch together. They were surprisingly interesting and intelligent. They were also vegetarian and left-wing so they get points there too. But sadly nothing can be done about that accent.

One of the guests announced that there was a speaker at the King Salomon hotel talking about abortion, surrogate mothers and organ donation. So off we went to go hear it. To our surprise it was actually about how men are smarter/wiser/more logical/just generally infinitely superior to women. Therefore "a woman's role in the marriage is to pick out the sofas" (no seriously that's a direct quote folks) and the man's role is to guide the family spiritually and logically.

We walked out mid-way.

And then we saw a baby that look like a cone-headed alien which made it all better.

The rest of the afternoon was spent sleeping and listening to the Americans read out passages from a book called "the year of living biblically" (http://www.ajjacobs.com/books/yolb.asp) its pretty amusing.

All in all it was nice to feel like I live in Jerusalem now. Like it's my home.