Secret Women's Business

So this blog post isn't a chabad/kiruv 'the beauty of family purity' manifesto but it is going to be a discussion of a friend of mine's experiences at the mikvah. It just so happens that her experiences were largely positive.

For those who are unfamiliar with the subject you can check this out.

Anyway, so my friend lives in Jerusalem and being an orthodox woman she keeps the laws of family purity. The mikvah she attends is in the eclectic neighbourhood of Nachlaot. The mix of demographics in the suburb is reflected in the mikvah attendees. There are hassidic women with their heads shaved. There are hippies with dreadlocks and no shoes. There are old sephardi women. There are even women you wouldn't expect, ones with tattoos and piercings.

The mikvah itself is beautiful. It's clean and modern. Very much like a spa. It's managed to maintain some of the old Jerusalem architecture along with the renovation to allow for lots of frosted glass and good heating. Not to mention fluffy towels. There's even a hair/make-up spot with blow driers and cosmetics for prettifying post-mikvah.

The balaniot (the mikvah attendants) are really polite and considerate. There is no checking your nails or looking for bits of unbuffed skin on your feet. They simply ask if you've prepared according to your minhagim (traditions) and then get you to step into the mikvah. Obviously they hold the towel up so they don't really look at you during this.

The balanit could tell that my friend was still new at this and a bit nervous, so she told her to take a few deep breaths and to calm herself before saying the bracha and taking the dips. After each dip the balanit declared in a very calm and soothing voice "kasher." As my friend walked up the stairs the balanit congratulated her on doing a great and important mitzvah and then shook her hand. Kinda hilarious given that she was naked at the time.

Anyways what she claims is that the most positive experience out of the mikvah outings is the sense of camaraderie between the women there. In the waiting room you have women of all types chatting about the towels or about kids or about the chaggim or about the cottage cheese protests or the katzav verdict. In a world where there aren't always options for women of different creeds to meet, the mikvah is a safe place.

Obviously this is just one person's opinion and experience. But I think it's one that people should know about. Because even if you think that family purity is misogynistic there's always two sides to every coin and the cultural narrative is one that we create. So why not create a positive one?

With that - have a great week folks.

Mikveh

Today was a beautiful day in Zion.

I woke up late (10 am, a full 3.5 hours later than my normal Sunday morning wake up). The sky was clear and the sun was shining. We made french toast with leftover challah then went to the shuk for coffee. After that it was off to a mikva round table at the shatil offices. The meeting involved various organisations working with mikvaot around Israel. Specifically; dealing with the mikva workers rights and consumers rights.

I learnt many interesting things at this meeting. For example that women who work in these mikvaot (balanit - single, balaniot - plural) have no training and get paid minimum wage. They have no days off because mikvaot need to be open every day of the year (except for tisha b'av and yom kippur) and because they only work at night even if they work 5 hours every day of the week they are defined as part time workers and don't get full pension and healthcare benefits. The majority of the women are sephardi, come from very low socio-economic backgrounds, have low levels of education, have many children and are generally the sole providers for their large families. They provide for their households via this work. Furthermore these women are not unionised and do not have a representative on the council's religious matters board. Indeed when they sought help from rabbis for their working conditions they were told to leave the issue be because their reward will be in the world to come.

We also discussed religious coercion in the mikvaot. All Jewish women getting married in Israel have to visit the mikva before they are permitted to marry in this country. This means that no matter if you have blue hair, a million piercing and tattoos, eat bacon and eggs for breakfast and have already 3 children outside of marriage, if you want to get married in Israel you have to go the mikva. This is problematic enough. But there are lots of different ways to go to the mikva. There are different laws and practices regarding the preparation process. What if you would like to keep one practice but the balanit would prefer if you observed another? What if you'd prefer that she doesn't cut your nails for you? Or insist that you shave your legs? Or file away the callouses on your feet? Perhaps you'd prefer her to not watch you while you are naked at all? These are all legitimate concerns affecting many brides in Israel. How can we maintain their right to autonomy within this system where religion and state are still not separated? For one woman's experience see this.

Ultimately it was a really fascinating meeting with many of the movers and shakers of the feminist religious world (ie: Chaviva Ner-David). Yay!

After that, I was off to teach a class for a gap year program here, then to a shiur and then a reunion with my friends from sem. JOY!

Other than that the rest of this week will be spent at the Shalem Conference. Yes, you fellow pretentious pseudo-intellectual yidden, you may commence dying of jealousy now. Limmud-Oz eat my dirt.

With that, shavua tov, Little Miss.B