How I am not a Man

I’ve recently spent at least 10 hours studying the laws of war. I will be spending at least another 40 hours studying this topic before December. This experience has taught me a very important lesson.

First: that sometimes it doesn't matter if the lecture is in English, you can still have no idea what's flying.

Second: I am not a man.

As much as I am in many ways just as component as a man and have the same natural entitlements and obligations as a man when it comes to violence we are talking about apples and oranges.

I am quite simply not violent. I will never use force to get what I want. Additionally I have never been nor am I likely to ever be in an army or a war. As such, the world of perpetrating violence is not my world and I can't understand it.

Now if we want to talk about victims of violence I get it. Without actually having experienced any significant violence against myself, I still know what it’s like to be afraid and know that I have no real means of defence.

I know that this is not the experience of all women. Obviously not. The fact that I’m 5 ft nothing and just a smidge over 50 kgs and generally adorable makes me inherently vulnerable. But additionally violence simply wouldn’t be an efficient method for me to get what I want and that’s why I use other methods to get my way. Like smiling, hair twirling or logical arguments. I don’t think ever about using violence and I can’t understand people who do use it. It simply doesn’t run through my decision making process ever. Even if other people threaten violence with me, counter violence doesn’t even play in my mind as a means of defence.

As such, there is a whole part of the world, of the man’s world, that is not part of my world. Now this realisation is significant in two ways

1) It’s something, which is at least partly biological (though also cultural) that differentiates me from the masculine, this is an uncommon reality b/c in most other ways I am the same as men, b/c ultimately we are all just people

2) I probably cannot be a human rights lawyer, at least where human rights relate to war or conflicts. B/c I just don’t get violence or war. I don’t understand it and hence would make a totally shit lawyer in this area. Goodbye potential job opportunities in the middle-east.

So does it bother me to not be a violent man? Not really. But it would be nice if even men weren’t violent in the first place.

hagshama

Howzit ppl?

Get excited b/c for once I have a post that is not a rant!

So I recently signed up for classes for this coming semester at hebrew u. They are following:

1) Jewish Law

2) Family Law

3) International Humanitarian Law

4) Feminism and Halacha

5) Talmud

6) The Israeli Legal system

Studying law in Israel (in Hebrew!!!) is a very exciting thing for me. Indeed studying Halacha and family law is the beginning of something pretty big for me.

I was about 10 when I decided I wanted to be a lawyer. Though my exact words at the time were "I wanna be a bannister." Gosh kids say the darnedest things. Anyways, my parents found it scary too. They kept trying to remind me that I could be a hairdresser or astronaut if I wanted to. My brother was so much less creepy. He just wanted to be the shule lolly man. At about age 12 I decided I wanted to be a family lawyer and at age 14 (though almost 15) I decided that I wanted to make Aliya.

Since then I've had to finish high school, get accepted to law school and become eligible to study here all in the furtherance of these things that I decided I wanted during my childhood.

So how do I feel about what I'm about to do in October? Freaking ecstatic!

This is because I'd some day like to wear a cape to a courtroom and rescue people from terrible marriages and children from manipulative parental power plays all in one swoop while leaping over tall buildings. I'd also like to stick it to the man (this time mainly referring to the rabbanut).

So wish me luck!