So to be honest, I’m a bad feminist.
First, I’ll tell you the external reasons that would make Mary Wollstonecraft turn in her grave and then I’ll tell you the internal ones that would make Tamar Ross shudder.
Firstly, as you know, I'm domestic. Cooking, cleaning, crocheting, the whole deal. I’d prefer to do any of those tasks rather than play contact sports or go hunting. I wear make-up and am pretty scrupulous with grooming.
Additionally from a religious perspective I’m a bad feminist. I wear skirts. Even when exercising. Necklines and sleeves to the letter. I’ve never layned, never been a shaliach tzibbur and I don’t always do a women’s zimun. Yes, I’m going to be a lawyer but a family lawyer for goodness sake. I’ll spend all my time arguing over who gets the kids and then getting paid like a teacher (who am I kidding I could probably work as a garbage collector and get paid more than a teacher here, and get more respect).
It doesn’t get much better when we take a look inside my head. Sometimes staying at home appeals to me. Making quilts, knitting jumpers, baking my own bread. Not having to compete for grades. Not having to write essays or finish readings. Not having the pressure of having to be financially independent. I could just get somebody with a Y chromosome to pay for all my stuff. All the decisions could be made by him. I wouldn't have to pick how much of my income to invest and where. I wouldn't have to work out tax stuff (tax...ewww).
I suppose that sometimes I can't be bothered fighting for equality. Is it really worth all my effort everyday trying to be taken seriously? Can I really be bothered telling another person off on the bus? I could work 60 hour weeks but I still won't get paid the same amount as a guy working half that. I could know shas off by heart and hilchot shabbat from the tur to ovadia yosef but I still won't be a Rabbi. Sometimes it just too hard.
Sometimes I just want to take the easy way out. To just be a nice maidel. To give in to patriarchy.
The truth is though, that you can never go home. A woman once educated can't forget what she's learnt. A person once liberated can't go back to slavery. Once you've been to the knesset you can't go back to the kitchen.
Sorry Ms. De Beauvoir. I'll try harder.
Maybe I'll start by changing my blog to the marital-status-neutral littleMSbogan?
